Free guides in Portuguese →Blog in Portuguese →

Book cover: How to Disagree Without Ending the Conversation

Relationships & Dialogue

Can we stay close when we think differently?

How to Disagree Without Ending the Conversation

Name: How to Disagree Without Ending the Conversation
Author: Régys Borges da Silveira

Convictions, listening, and boundaries in living with people who think differently

Understand what makes disagreement difficult and explore ways to speak, listen, and consider the boundaries of a relationship — even when differences remain.

Notify me when it is available

This book is being prepared in Brazilian Portuguese.

EditionIn preparation2026Book languagePortugueseBrazilFormatsComing soonComing soon

About the book

A complete view of the book.

Some conversations change their subject without anyone noticing. An unfinished task becomes proof of consideration; criticism of a proposal is heard as criticism of the person. How to Disagree Without Ending the Conversation starts from these situations to examine relationships between people who reach different conclusions and must decide what to do with their differences.

Across five parts and sixteen chapters, research and reflection meet three fictional settings: a family, two friends, and a workplace team. Their stories allow readers to follow what was said, what remained an assumption, and what fulfilling a commitment actually changes. Facts, values, identity, listening, and reconsidering a position appear alongside the conditions under which each person can participate.

This is not about learning phrases to win arguments or guarantee someone else's reaction. Partial agreements, repair, pauses, and changes in closeness are possibilities to consider. Respecting someone does not make all claims equally supported, nor oblige anyone to endure humiliation, coercion, or threats.

The challenge

Does this situation sound familiar?

A conversation about chores turns into a test of affection. An objection to a deadline is taken as a lack of commitment. Among friends, a difference in belief begins to overshadow their shared history. How can we discuss what matters when disagreement already feels like a judgment of who we are?

The book’s approach

Discover what can still be discussed — and recognize the boundaries.

The book follows what happens before, during, and after a disagreement. It distinguishes facts, values, and interests; examines identity and belonging; and considers how to offer reasons, listen to objections, reconsider a position, and reach possible agreements. Continuing is not an obligation: power, reciprocity, and the freedom to decline are part of the reflection.

“A difference can remain without making anyone's dignity depend on agreement.”

By the end of the book, you will be able to:

✓Notice when criticism of an idea becomes a judgment of a person

✓Distinguish facts, values, interests, and assumptions about others

✓Offer reasons and ask questions more clearly

✓Recognize a valid point and reconsider a position without staging a defeat

✓Consider power when deciding to continue, pause, or end a conversation

✓Distinguish partial agreement, repair, and actual changes in conduct

Questions that guide the reading

Answers begin with the right questions.

Questions explored through context, criteria, and examples.

When does disagreement stop being about the subject and become personal?

How can we listen without abandoning convictions or accepting every claim?

What changes when not everyone can disagree or leave on equal terms?

What can we still build when consensus does not come?

Inside the book

A structured journey that helps you move forward.

Concepts and applications presented in a coherent sequence.

When differences become personal

Examine what a position represents to the person holding it and how we interpret the intentions of those who disagree.

What the disagreement is about

Separate claims, sources, values, and interests to understand what needs evidence and what involves difficult choices.

Speaking, asking, and listening

Consider the moment to respond, how to ask questions and present reasons, and the possibility of reconsidering part of a position.

Power and the limits of conversation

Recognize unequal power, public exposure, and the freedom to decline. Better conversation does not replace protection or appropriate support.

Repair and feasible commitments

Distinguish acknowledging an offense, repairing consequences, and taking responsibility, without demanding forgiveness in return.

Living with differences that remain

Follow limited agreements, commitments, and changing relationships without assuming every disagreement will end in consensus.

Content in preparation

Planned book structure

Explore the 5 parts and 16 planned chapters. Titles may be refined during editorial review.

View chapters16 chapters

Part I — When disagreement becomes personal

The conversation that changed its subject
What we defend when we defend an idea
The stories we tell about others

Part II — Understanding disagreement

What are we disagreeing about?
Facts, sources, and standards of evidence
Values, interests, and difficult choices

Part III — Speaking and listening during disagreement

Before responding
Questions that open up space
Saying what we think clearly
Recognizing a point and reconsidering a position

Part IV — Recognizing boundaries

Not every conversation takes place between equals
When to pause and when to end
Disagreeing in front of an audience

Part V — Living together after the conversation

Repairing what happened
Possible agreements, differences that remain
The next conversation

What makes this book different

Depth to understand. Clarity to keep moving forward.

Three fictional settings followed across chapters, never presented as evidence of effectiveness

Research discussed with attention to its context and the limits of its conclusions

Convictions, listening, and power relations considered together

A glossary and index for revisiting concepts and specific difficulties

Who this book is for

Find your place in this book.

People facing disagreements in families, friendships, workplaces, and messaging groups.

✓ Readers seeking to understand disagreements in close relationships✓ People living with differences in beliefs, priorities, or values✓ Professionals and leaders discussing decisions and working conditions✓ Teachers and readers interested in listening, relationships, and responsibility

Before you begin

What you need to benefit from the book

✓No specialized background or prior reading of another book by the author is required

✓Concepts are explained through everyday situations, with attention to their conditions and limits

An informed choice

This may not be the right book if…

—Readers seeking foolproof phrases to persuade, manipulate, or win arguments

—Readers expecting a therapeutic protocol or an obligation to preserve every relationship

Why this author, on this subject

Experience that gives the reading context.

Régys Borges da Silveira connects his experience in education, vocational training, projects, and consulting with questions about how we speak, decide, and live together. Here, research and fictional situations help examine disagreements without promising to control another person's reaction.

Beyond this book

Receive resources and updates about How to Disagree Without Ending the Conversation.

Upcoming release